Pro Evolution Soccer 2013 (And why I gave up on the series)

Once upon a time, I used to be a huge Pro Evolution Soccer (Winning Eleven) nut. The incredible thumb twiddling on the PS2 and PS3 lasted almost 10 years. Then sometime after the PS3 versions started coming out, small things started annoying me… but at the time, I just shrugged them off assuming that those “things” would be fixed in the next iteration of the PES/WE legacy. That’s a steaming pile of doo doo. I haven’t bought PES/WE (which I used to pre-order) for the past 3 years… and yet, every year, I make sure to give the demo a shot… and every year, I’m reminded of the very things that made me give up on PES/WE (and move to EA’s FIFA).

No, it has nothing to do with the licensing (who doesn’t enjoy playing with Arzegum and Man Blue). Nor does it have anything to do with the graphics that are slowly trailing further and further behind the FIFA series. My reasons are almost purely based on the bugs that annoy me so much that I just quit my Master League season without saving and never start up PES/WE again. Here’s a couple of examples off the top of my head:

1) I’m on offense and controlling Cristiano Ronaldo (speedy critter) and I’ve just managed to make a perfect turn around one of the slower defenders around, let’s just say Sol Campbell for arguments sake. Now, unless Cristiano Ronaldo got one of his legs replaced by a chair leg in an emergency operation, there is NO WAY IN HELL Sol Campbell is going to catch up with him… BUT in PES/WE, Sol Campbell will trot up next to you and pick the ball off you like he was picking his own nose.

2) I’m defending and controlling Dani Alves (speedy critter #2) and Peter Crouch (who despite having legs the length of the pitch can’t really run fast) receives the ball facing away from goal. Peter Crouch controlled by the CPU can now face me, and with the deft touches only gifted to the real Ronaldo will prance past the defending Dani Alves, before making Dani Alves look like wheelchair bound for the length of half the football pitch.

3) My player with the ball runs past random defender X and “touches” him according to the collision detection. My player immediately becomes a retard unable to move any closer than 5 yards to the ball, while the opposing defender walks over, has a sandwich, picks up the ball and goes on their merry way.

4) Point 3 repeated with me in the defending position… outcome? My player is again the one that becomes the retard.

There are just a few of the things that I can recall that annoy me so much about PES/WE… and keep in mind, these “bugs” have been in the game for easily 3 years. The Konami team and fanboys may continue to say that PES/WE is a “simulation”, and to be fair to them, the day I see the above 4 things in a football match, I will start buying PES/WE again. Until then, enjoy your incredible sales getting crap on by FIFA – it’s well deserved for not listening to the community.

One thought on “Pro Evolution Soccer 2013 (And why I gave up on the series)

  1. I totally agree with all of your points I just got out of pes 13 right now totally frustrated about all the things that you said, basically my players become retards and ibrahimovic becomes slower than my grandma while trying to get to the goal even tho he is in front of the defenders, some randoms from anderlecht or feyenord. Not to mention when I play against barcelona and I have no chance whatsoever because my players are running around like headless chickens stepping over the ball instead of picking it up while any of the barcelona players become messi all of a sudden both in tactics and in speed. Once barcelona had a corner kick, one of my defenders basically stopped the ball on his head instead of deflecting it and of course messi was right there to bicycle kick it in the net. The only problem is I found these same issues in fifa 12 as well (I did not buy fifa 13 considering it was too similar to be just as frustrated).

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